On behalf of the Department for Health & Safety (Ant Division), I have now concluded my investigation into the recent manufacture of fraudulent identification cards using a laminator and have determined that, in doing so (quite aside from any criminal…
The Office can confirm that Tiggy has completed her morning patrol and that everything remains broadly under control. The Office is pleased to confirm that following overnight operations, Station Rat A has been successfully apprehended by Tiggy and is now…
The Office can confirm that Tiggy has completed her evening patrol and that matters once again remain broadly under control. The Department for Elections & Governance confirms that voting for Employee of the Week continues despite both the increasingly vocal…
The Department for Historical Research has today authorised the release of this recently recovered archival footage of Tiggy. The Department wishes to stress that this footage is shared solely for its historical significance and is in no way intended to…
Discontent and disorder are growing on Platform 6 as increasingly vocal and divided crowds protest Tiggy’s recent ruling that “all flying creatures possessing two or more feet” are eligible to vote in the Employee of the Week ballot. Whilst the…
From: Harley, Head of the Department for Human Behaviour & Statistical AnalysisCC: Department for Elections & Governance; Department for Canine Resources Dear Mrs Peckhurst, Thank you for your correspondence regarding the temporary deployment of Senior Human Behaviour Analysts Buzz and…
From: Mrs Emmeline Peckhurst, Interim Assistant Deputy Acting Head of Avian Affairs & Flying Mammals (Platform 5/6 Division)CC: Department for Elections & Governance; Department for Canine Resources Dear Harley, Firstly, may I express my sincere thanks for so promptly dispatching…
The Office can confirm that Tiggy has completed her morning patrol and that matters once again remain broadly under control. Mrs Emmeline Peckhurst continues overseeing voting for Employee of the Week. Following a brief period during which she became somewhat…
To: Harley, Head of Department for Human Behaviour & Statistical AnalysisFrom: Department for Elections & GovernanceCC: Department for Canine ResourcesSubject: Temporary Weekend Counting Assistance Dear Harley, Whilst Mrs Emmeline Peckhurst continues to manage the vote on Platform 5, the Office…
May I first thank the overwhelming majority of you for your continued patience and good humour. Voting continues at a steady pace and I remain fully committed to ensuring that every constitutionally eligible flying creature has the opportunity to cast…