The Office can confirm that Tiggy has completed her morning patrol and that everything remains broadly under control.
The Office is pleased to confirm that following overnight operations, Station Rat A has been successfully apprehended by Tiggy and is now in custody. The rat is currently assisting with enquiries into how Bat Moths were enticed into the station and came to be in possession of ID cards. Health & Safety (Ant Division) are also investigating what regulations may have been breached during the production of said cards.
The Department for Elections & Governance confirms that voting for Employee of the Week continues despite ongoing questions surrounding the definition of “flight” and whether it is discriminatory to offer the vote based upon aerial abilities. Mrs Emmeline Peckhurst is becoming increasingly “flappy”, but continues to carry out her duties to the best of her abilities.
Protests continue on Platform 6. Humans are advised to avoid the area completely, as unlike the calm, peaceful demonstrations seen over recent weeks, many of the protesters are at this point behaving exactly like the feral animals they are.
The Department for Foreign Affairs & International Relations confirms that Field Operative Phileas Moss Esq. is making good progress on his mission towards the Upton area in search of Avian and Insect Translation Experts. His latest dispatch described the outlook on City Road this morning as, “Resplendent, as the soft light of dawn breaks the cloudless sky and bathes the pavements in a majestic, shimmering cloak of luminosity.”
The Office wishes all staff, passengers and members of the wider community a pleasant day.