May I first thank the overwhelming majority of you for your continued patience and good humour. Voting continues at a steady pace and I remain fully committed to ensuring that every constitutionally eligible flying creature has the opportunity to cast their vote.
May I, however, respectfully remind all voters of the following:
● Please join the queue at the rear and refrain from swarming.
● Please have your ballot paper and ID ready.
● Please have your preferred candidate (Becky, Sophie or Jakub) in mind before reaching the head of the queue. The ballot box itself is not a place for discussion as to whom might best merit your vote.
● After voting, kindly exit Platform 5 immediately (towards the lifts). Attempting to fly back down the platform through the waiting crowds causes considerable confusion and additional, entirely avoidable, congestion.
● Avian Affairs reminds members of the public that it is not responsible for platform alterations, timetabling issues or service delays.
AND FINALLY, may I respectfully reiterate – THERE ARE NO AVIAN TOILETING FACILITIES ON PLATFORM 5. The nearest facilities are located in The Carriage Shed area. (May I also politely request that the Department for Cleaning & Environmental Hygiene attend Platform 5 at the earliest opportunity.)
Thank you again for your patience. I once again remind all that I am, after all, but one pigeon.
Yours sincerely,
Mrs Emmeline Peckhurst
Interim Assistant Deputy Acting Head of Avian Affairs & Flying Mammals (Platform 5/6 Division)