To All, I feel it necessary to make a brief statement. For several weeks now I have attempted to discharge my duties as conscientiously and impartially as possible whilst simultaneously administering a ballot and managing what has become an increasingly…
The Office can confirm that Tiggy has now entered into a meeting with her Independent Senior Adviser for Constitutional & Strategic Matters, Luther. Agenda – To determine, once and for all, what constitutes “flight”. Specific points for consideration: 1. Do…
The Office is pleased to report that Tiggy has completed her morning patrol and that matters, once again, remain broadly under control. The Department for Elections & Governance reports that there is growing dissent on Platform 6 between the faction…
The Office can confirm that Tiggy has completed her evening patrol and that matters, once again, remain broadly under control. Following a review by the Department for Internal Reviews & Procedural Oversight, the Department for We Pardon You Tiggy has…
The Department for Internal Reviews & Procedural Oversight has concluded its review into the actions of Anita Butler of the Department for Health & Safety (Ant Division) in relation to today’s trip hazard incident. The review has established that the…
The Office is pleased to report that this morning’s unexpected Health & Safety briefing has now concluded, allowing normal Office operations to resume. Tiggy has now completed her morning patrol and the Office can confirm that matters, once again, remain…
Firstly, I would like to personally apologise for the delay to today’s Morning Report. This is due to my requirement that Tiggy attend an urgent Health & Safety briefing. The briefing will cover a number of important workplace safety topics,…
Commuters are advised to exercise caution as they navigate Chester Station this morning due to a Tiggy-shaped trip hazard on the station concourse.
The Office can confirm that Tiggy has completed her evening patrol and that matters once again remain broadly under control. Station Rats A and B have begun serving their respective sentences for manufacturing fraudulent ID cards and coercing Bat Moths…
The Office can confirm that Tiggy has now concluded her interview with Station Rat A and reached the following conclusions: Both Station Rats A and B were well aware that they had absolutely no authority or remit to manufacture ID…