The Office can confirm that Tiggy has completed her morning patrol and that matters once again remain broadly under control.
Mrs Emmeline Peckhurst continues overseeing voting for Employee of the Week. Following a brief period during which she became somewhat ‘flappy’, assistance was drafted in from the Department for Human Behaviour & Statistical Analysis. Unfortunately, in their exuberance to assist, Buzz and Toffee managed to increase rather than decrease Emmeline’s ‘flappiness’, hence they were (at Emmeline’s request) sent back to the racecourse to “relieve themselves of their silliness”.
Station Rat B remains in custody whilst Station Rat A remains at large. Tiggy has warned that if he doesn’t give himself up, she shall personally see that he is brought into custody, which “won’t be in his best interests.”
The Department for Foreign Affairs & International Relations confirms that Field Operative Phileas Moss Esq. continues his mission to procure suitably qualified Avian and Insect Translation Experts from an organisation reported to exist in the Upton area. Word back from Mr Moss is that he is currently: “Sliding Northward on City Road through sun-dappled leaves, the dewdrops glistening like diamonds…”
The Department for Personnel Records & Resource Management reminds all that preparations for the forthcoming Annual Staff Census are now well underway.
The Office wishes all staff, passengers and members of the wider community a happy and productive Monday.