The Office can confirm that Tiggy has completed her evening patrol and that matters, once again, remain broadly under control. 📜 Today Tiggy ruled that all creatures, regardless of flight status, shall be entitled to vote. It is hoped that…
Dear Tiggy, It is with considerable sadness that I hereby tender my resignation as Interim Assistant Deputy Acting Head of Avian Affairs & Flying Mammals (Platform 5/6 Division). When I accepted this appointment, I understood my duties were simply to…
Following Tiggy’s landmark ruling, I bring this report directly from Platform 6, where the scenes of jubilation and celebration are reminiscent of those witnessed on 2 July 1928, when women finally secured equal voting rights to men. Marjorie, a Money…
Following careful consideration of the formal recommendations submitted by my Independent Senior Adviser for Constitutional & Strategic Matters, Luther, I have now reached a decision regarding the definition of “flight” for the purposes of voting eligibility. Numerous proposals were considered,…
To: Mrs Emmeline Peckhurst, Interim Assistant Deputy Acting Head of Avian Affairs & Flying Mammals (Platform 5/6 Division)From: Anita Butler, Senior Risk Assessment Officer (Ant Division) Following review of the documentation submitted in relation to yesterday’s incident involving a badger, a vole,…
The Office is pleased to report that Tiggy has completed her morning patrol and that matters, once again, remain broadly under control. The Department for Seasonal Events is delighted to announce that today is FLYING ANT DAY 2026. The Office…
The Office can confirm that Tiggy has completed her evening patrol and that matters, once again, remain broadly under control. The Department for Constitutional & Strategic Affairs confirms that Tiggy and Luther’s constitutional meeting has now concluded. Formal recommendations have…
The Office can confirm that Tiggy and her Independent Senior Adviser for Constitutional & Strategic Matters, Luther, have concluded their meeting. The meeting is understood to have considered a wide range of evidence, including footage of ballooning spiders, gliding mammals,…
To All, I feel it necessary to make a brief statement. For several weeks now I have attempted to discharge my duties as conscientiously and impartially as possible whilst simultaneously administering a ballot and managing what has become an increasingly…
The Office can confirm that Tiggy has now entered into a meeting with her Independent Senior Adviser for Constitutional & Strategic Matters, Luther. Agenda – To determine, once and for all, what constitutes “flight”. Specific points for consideration: 1. Do…