By Montgomery Burrows, Senior Associate Deputy Investigative Correspondent for Underground & Small Mammal Affairs It has now been one week since Tiggy’s landmark constitutional ruling extended voting rights to every creature, regardless of species or method of locomotion. Yet, despite…
The Department for Street Food Regulation has received reports of an outbreak of food poisoning amongst creatures frequenting Chester Station. The outbreak is believed to have originated from a discarded chicken baguette which was retrieved from a litter bin and…
The Office is pleased to report that Tiggy has completed her morning patrol and that matters, once again, remain broadly under control. Toffee remains off duty whilst resitting Manual Handling Course MHB-01, “Read the Label First: Safe Identification and Relocation…
The Departments for Law & Justice and Health & Safety (Ant Division) can now confirm that this morning’s incident on Platform 5 occurred after Toffee mistakenly identified a box of informational pamphlets produced by the duck (yes… that one) as…
To the Department of Auditing & Financial Compliance, Firstly, please accept my apologies for the delay in sending this statement. It is rather an amusing story, actually. One shall keep it brief. It was a hot summer’s evening, with conditions…
The Office is pleased to report that Tiggy has completed her morning patrol and that matters, once again, remain broadly under control. The Office reminds all creatures that voting remains suspended following Mrs Peckhurst’s resignation. It can also confirm that…
The Office can confirm that Tiggy has now completed her evening patrol and that everything remains broadly under control. The Department for Human Behaviour & Statistical Analysis has completed its analysis of human subjects’ estimates of their ages. Whilst Tiggy’s…
The Department for Cleaning & Environmental Hygiene is pleased to present this short instructional video demonstrating the standard of cleanliness expected of all Office personnel. Some staff members, particularly those within the Department for Human Behaviour & Statistical Analysis, would…
The Department for Human Behaviour & Statistical Analysis has now completed its review of the recent public estimates regarding the ages of Office personnel, and can now reveal that their ages are: Buzz: 14 years, 11 months (average guess: 8.3)…