Tiggy has reviewed this evening’s departmental records and is pleased to report that all remains broadly under control.
🐜 Mrs Emmeline Peckhurst notes that the Staff Census has recommenced without incident, with ants duly completing their Staff Census forms before moving on to the audition queue. Her assistant, the Duck (you know the one), has once again been using his PA system to address the queueing ants. Mrs Peckhurst has requested that he refrain from doing so unless he has something useful to say. The Duck counters that everything he says is useful.
⛪ Construction of the Wee Parasol Cathedral has resumed at considerable pace. With the main structure and cloisters (including the Rat Penitentiary) now substantially complete, work has begun on the Lady Chapel and Quire, while preparations are underway for the installation of the two fully functioning organs commissioned by Director of Music Cecilia Fortescue FRCOrg.
🗳️ Following a series of incidents involving the consumption of official documents, Tiggy has ordered the entire Department for Human Behaviour & Statistical Analysis to attend a three-day intensive residential course at the Institute for Canine Statistical Studies in Stoke-on-Trent entitled Food or Form? Advanced Document Recognition in the Modern Workplace. All members of the Department will be required to pass a final assessment before the counting of the Employee of the Week ballot papers can commence.
🐶The Department are instructed to pack their cases and be ready to depart Chester on the 07:32 to Stoke-on-Trent tomorrow. Accommodation has been arranged at the Crown Hotel in Longton (breakfast included). The Institute is a short walk from the hotel.
🍺 Tiggy wishes to clarify that her extended presence in the Town Crier pub today formed part of an entirely legitimate inspection of local hospitality facilities. Suggestions that the visit was primarily motivated by the procurement of illicit snacks are entirely unsubstantiated.
The Office wishes all human subjects and creatures a wonderful evening.