Tiggy has completed her morning patrol and is pleased to report that all remains broadly under control.
🐈 Following a week of officially sanctioned sick leave, Tiggy has resumed her duties. Her Personal Private Secretary wishes it to be recorded that opening the much beleaguered cat flap did not necessarily constitute formal authorisation to return to work. Tiggy, as ever, pleases herself and, according to her tracker, proceeded directly towards Chester Station.
🐌 Phileas Moss Esq.’s Flying Harness Engineering Team are waiting at The Carriage Shed for Phileas to arrive for another prototype harness fitting. He is understood to have left the Wee Parasol Cathedral on his Travelling Trolley. All involved are hopeful that his arrival at The Carriage Shed may be imminent.
🐜 Mrs Emmeline Peckhurst has received clarification from Wee Tap Shoes R Us regarding the 63,847 assorted Wee Tap Shoes. The consignment apparently contains 4,826 Complete Six-Foot Professional Sets and 8,722 Standard Four-Foot Dancing Sets. Unfortunately, Mrs Peckhurst remains confused, as this amounts to 63,844 shoes, three fewer than the paperwork states.
🗳️ Independent Adjudicator Mrs Constance Pickering has received Toffee’s replacement CC2C-ob form, but Buzz has now eaten hers. Mrs Pickering issued a notice warning all departmental staff not to eat forms of any sort. Unfortunately, Harley, Head of Department, ate this warning notice. Counting subsequently remains on hold while Mrs Pickering conducts a risk assessment into the likelihood of ballot papers being eaten rather than counted. Your continued patience is appreciated.
🐀 Station Rats A & B remain in the Remand Wing awaiting sentencing over the Wee Parasol Affair. Tiggy intends to hold a working lunch with Luther to discuss sentencing options and thank him for overseeing Office affairs during her absence. Luther suggested that eating the rats as lunch would be a suitable punishment, but Tiggy says they are too old and manky and she would prefer ham from Chef Andy at Chester Station Tap. Besides, she rather enjoys having the rats around to toy with.
The Office wishes all human subjects a marvellous Monday.