The Office can confirm that Tiggy has completed her evening patrol and that matters once again remain broadly under control.
Station Rats A and B have begun serving their respective sentences for manufacturing fraudulent ID cards and coercing Bat Moths to vote in an attempt to undermine both the democratic process and Tiggy herself. The Office extends its hearty congratulations to Tiggy for bringing the case to such a successful and satisfactory conclusion.
The Department for Elections & Governance reports that conditions on Platforms 5 & 6 are becoming increasingly chaotic and hazardous. Human subjects are advised to avoid the area. They are also advised that the duck involved in the incident with two seagulls, a squirrel, a duck and a discarded Greggs bag has now acquired a loud-hailer. It is inadvisable to engage with him unless you actively want to miss your train.
The Department for Health & Safety (Ant Division) confirms that Health & Safety Bulletin HSA/14351/TOT/002 has now been circulated to all Departments. Staff are reminded that possession of Small Office Equipment does not, in itself, confer permission or authority to operate such equipment.
The Department for Foreign Affairs & International Relations confirms that Field Operative Phileas Moss Esq. continues to make steady progress towards the Upton area in search of Avian and Insect Translation Experts. Mr Moss reports that current conditions on City Road are, “Reminiscent of the long, humid days I spent travelling the borders of Southern India, where rickshaws clattered down dusty trails and the air was thick with the scent of mango wood (Maanga Maram) smoke and crushed cardamom (Elettaria cardamomum).”
The Office wishes all staff, passengers and members of the wider community a relaxing evening.