The Lost Property Office is delighted to announce that it has this morning reunited Pepper BSc (Hons), FICSA with her misplaced tennis ball. The ball was recovered from the River Dee by a passing swan who kindly handed it in.…
The Department of Foreign Affairs & International Relations can confirm that Field Operative Philieas Moss has made satisfactory progress, having now reached the Town Crier pub, where his mission has been temporarily paused in order that he may complete the…
The Office can confirm that Tiggy has completed her morning patrol and that matters remain broadly under control. The Department for Elections & Governance continues its investigation into weekend Flying Mammal voting. The Employee of the Week ballot remains temporarily…
The Office can confirm that matters remain broadly under control. The Department for Elections & Governance continues its investigation into weekend Flying Mammal voting. The Employee of the Week ballot remains suspended pending the outcome of those enquiries. Mrs Emmeline…
The Office has authorised publication of the following statement submitted by Mrs Emmeline Peckhurst, Interim Assistant Deputy Acting Head of Avian Affairs & Flying Mammal Affairs (Platform 5/6 Division). To all those who have written expressing concern, I wish to…
TO: Philieas Moss, Esq.POSITION: Field OperativeDEPARTMENT: Foreign Affairs & International RelationsMISSION: Procurement of an Avian Translation Expert Following a routine examination of expense claim FA/2026/117B, the Department respectfully requests further clarification in respect of the following expenditure incurred during the…
The Office can confirm that Toffee has been temporarily relieved of her crowd management duties on Platform 6 following an examination by the Department for Health & Wellbeing. Whilst initially believed to have been the result of unusually aggressive fleas…
The Office can confirm that Tiggy has completed her routine morning patrols and is happy to report that all remains broadly under control. Voting in the Employee of the Week ballot remains temporarily suspended whilst the Department for Elections &…
The Office confirms receipt of Harley’s memorandum in respect of the Department’s interim findings regarding weekend flying mammal voting in the Employee of the Week ballot and considers the allegations to be sufficiently serious to warrant a full investigation. Accordingly,…
To: Tiggy, Chief Rat Catcher & Inspector of Human BehaviourFrom: Harley, Head of Department for Human Behaviour & Statistical AnalysisSubject: Interim Findings – Flying Mammal Voting Analysis Dear Tiggy, Whilst Pepper BSc (Hons), FICSA continues finalising the Department’s comprehensive statistical…