The Department for Careers & Recruitment is pleased to report that Socks has today undertaken her first assessment directly relevant to rodent control: Module 2a(i): Rodent Detection, Pursuit & Apprehension (Simulated) Following the release of a Starter Training Mouse, Socks…
The Office can confirm that Mr Bernard Thistlethwaite, NUAE Regional Case Officer (Cheshire West), has now arrived at Chester Station to represent Mrs Emmeline Peckhurst in ongoing discussions regarding her workload and staffing requirements. Mr Thistlethwaite flew into Chester shortly…
The Office wishes to address recent and entirely unfounded suggestions that Tiggy spends a disproportionate amount of the working day asleep. The Office considers these allegations both inaccurate and potentially damaging to her professional reputation as Chief Rat Catcher &…
Tiggy has completed her morning patrol and is pleased to report that all remains broadly under control. As a member of the National Union of Avian Employees (NUAE), it has been confirmed that Mrs Peckhurst’s union representative, Mr Bernard Thistlethwaite,…
EVENING REPORT: Tiggy has now completed her evening patrol and is pleased to report that all remains broadly under control. 🕊️ Tiggy has formally acknowledged Mrs Emmeline Peckhurst’s concerns regarding her current working conditions and accepts that the duties presently…
🐈 SOCKS – APTITUDE ASSESSMENT (CAT): FURTHER RESULTS The Department for Careers & Recruitment is pleased to report that Socks has achieved a further distinction in: AA(C) Module 1b: Ignoring Toys in Favour of Attacking Human’s Jumper. Despite having several…
FORMAL NOTICE REGARDING CURRENT WORKING CONDITIONS To: Tiggy, Chief Rat Catcher & Inspector of Human BehaviourCc: The Office of Tiggy Dear Tiggy, Further to our meeting yesterday, I wish to formally record my concerns regarding my role as Interim Assistant…
MORNING REPORT: Tiggy has completed her morning patrol and is pleased to report that all remains broadly under control. 🕊️ Following yesterday’s meeting with Tiggy, Mrs Emmeline Peckhurst has submitted a formal list of concerns regarding her role as Interim…
🐶 The Department for Human Behaviour & Statistical Analysis confirms that Harley (Head of Department) has seen Saturday's footage of Buzz and Toffee enjoying a leisurely stroll along the canal. Given that both had reported themselves unavailable to assist with…