EVENING REPORT: Tiggy has now completed her evening patrol and is pleased to report that all remains broadly under control.
🕊️ Tiggy has formally acknowledged Mrs Emmeline Peckhurst’s concerns regarding her current working conditions and accepts that the duties presently assigned to one pigeon have become considerable. The Department for Careers & Recruitment has been instructed to review the long-promised provision of administrative assistance. Mrs Peckhurst has been assured that no further species, geographical areas or dance-related responsibilities will be added to her remit in the meantime.
🐶 Buzz and Toffee have now attended their meeting with Tiggy following the emergence of further footage of them paddling in the River Dee from Montgomery Burrows of The Chester Chronicle. Both have admitted making excuses to avoid weekend overtime assisting Harley in picking up the spilt wee tap shoes from Box 1 of the consignment from Wee Tap Shoes R Us. Tiggy is considering what action to take.
🦆 Photographic evidence received from Chris Holder today establishes beyond reasonable doubt that the duck (you know the one) has indeed acquired both a microphone and PA system. The source of this equipment remains unknown. Human subjects are reminded that engaging him in theological discussion may result in significant delays to onward travel.
📅 Following consultation with human subjects, work is commencing on the Official Office of Tiggy 2027 Calendar. The much-requested Official Record catch-up booklets have not been forgotten and will follow in due course.
🐈 The Department for Careers & Recruitment is delighted to report that Socks has achieved a further distinction in AA(C) Module 1b: Ignoring Toys in Favour of Attacking Human’s Jumper. The Department considers her continued demonstration of natural feline aptitude extremely encouraging.
🐈⬛ Tiggy has now concluded official duties for the day and intends to spend the evening recovering in a darkened room.
The Office wishes all human and non-human subjects a very pleasant evening.