PHILEAS'S TRAVELLING TOTE REMAINS MISSING, BUT THE BELOW, AN EXCERPT FROM HIS STATEMENT TO THE DEPARTMENT OF AUDITING & FINANCIAL COMPLIANCE, HAS BEEN RECOVERED. …progress along City Road towards Upton was excellent. However, as daylight turned to twilight, one realised…
🐜 The Department for Internal Investigations & Procurement Irregularities continues its investigation into the supply of unauthorised cocktail parasols to members of Health & Safety (Ant Division). Station Rat B, who on Friday completed 27 hours of court-ordered community service…
Tiggy has completed her evening patrol and reports that all remains broadly under control. ☂️ The Department for Internal Investigations & Procurement Irregularities has examined the unauthorised wee parasols confiscated from Health & Safety (Ant Division) and established that they…
Following considerable discussion regarding the question of Socks’ future position within The Office, Tiggy has accepted a recommendation from the Department for Careers & Recruitment that no appointment should be made until the candidate’s particular abilities have been properly established.…
Owing to several amendments to his original mission, the Office understands that some human subjects may have lost track of precisely why Field Operative Phileas Moss Esq. is attempting to reach Upton (where there is believed to be an organisation…
Tiggy has completed her morning patrol and is pleased to report that all remains broadly under control. ☂️ Health & Safety (Ant Division) confirms that its investigation into the unauthorised wee parasols has been referred to the Department for Internal…
Tiggy has completed her evening patrol and reports that all remains broadly under control. 🐜 Health & Safety (Ant Division) confirms that Ant No. 8,624 is recovering well following this afternoon’s audition accident. Anita Butler’s subsequent inspection has, however, identified…
From: Anita Butler (Ant No. 14,351) I regret to report a serious incident during this afternoon’s auditions for the Health & Safety (Ant Division) Synchronised Tap & Parasol Dance Troupe. It transpires that Ant No. 8,624, whose Standard Issue wee…
