From: Department for Foreign Affairs & International Relations To: Emmeline, Interim Assistant Deputy Acting Head of Avian Affairs (Platform 5 Division) Emmeline, The Department acknowledges receipt of your memorandum concerning the Avian Translation Expert Procurement Mission. Firstly, the Department would…
From: Emmeline, Interim Assistant Deputy Acting Head of Avian Affairs (Platform 5 Division) To: Department for Foreign Affairs & International Relations Sirs/Madams, I am writing to request a further update regarding the Avian Translation Expert Procurement Mission. Several days have…
Morning rounds have now been completed. All platforms were inspected – the Department for Hygiene & Cleanliness is requested to dispatch an operative to Platform 5 (Avian voters are reminded that toileting facilities are available in The Carriage Shed adjacent…
One week into public office, all remains broadly under control. Emmeline continues to oversee voting operations on Platform 5, although translation difficulties remain ongoing. The Department for Foreign Affairs & International Relations reports that its field operative continues to make…
Following a review by the Department for Calendar Management & Chronological Affairs, the Office of Tiggy can confirm that yesterday’s celebration of one week in public office occurred approximately 24 hours ahead of schedule, and that today is, in fact,…
To: Emmeline, Interim Assistant Deputy Acting Head of Avian Affairs (Platform 5 Division) From: Department for Foreign Affairs & International Relations Re: Investigation into Reports of Avian Translation Expertise Further to your request for assistance with locating avian translation experts,…
The Office of Tiggy can confirm that voting operations continue on Platform 5. Emmeline, Interim Assistant Deputy Acting Head of Avian Affairs (Platform 5 Division), reports that turnout remains high but that ongoing translation difficulties continue to slow proceedings. Emmeline…
The Office of Tiggy can confirm that it has received several reports of unauthorized digging activity around the Platform 5 area. At present the exact nature of the digging is unclear, but we can assure human subjects that the situation…
A routine inspection of the station has been completed. Several human subjects were observed commuting. No correspondence requires immediate attention. Tiggy has therefore retired back to bed to conduct cleaning and sleeping duties. Please keep the noise to a minimum.
One week into public office, all remains broadly under control. Emmeline continues to oversee avian voting operations on Platform 5. The Department for Foreign Affairs & International Relations continues its enquiries into reports of avian translation expertise located somewhere in…