To: Emmeline, Interim Assistant Deputy Acting Head of Avian Affairs (Platform 5 Division)
From: Department for Foreign Affairs & International Relations
Re: Investigation into Reports of Avian Translation Expertise
Further to your request for assistance with locating avian translation experts, the Department can confirm that a field operative was dispatched early yesterday morning and is now en route to the Upton area of Chester.
We are pleased to report that his GPS tracking device indicates significant progress has been made – his current position is reported as just approaching Costa Coffee (nearside to the ticket barrier).
The Department considers this a satisfactory development and remains optimistic that communication with the reported establishment in Upton will be made all in good time.