Tiggy has completed her morning patrol and is pleased to report that all remains broadly under control.
☂️ Health & Safety (Ant Division) confirms that its investigation into the unauthorised wee parasols has been referred to the Department for Internal Investigations & Procurement Irregularities, which will attempt to establish their source.
🩰 This morning’s auditions for the Health & Safety (Ant Division) Synchronised Tap & Parasol Dance Troupe have been paused while the judging panel devises a set routine for all candidates. The emphasis will be on competence and execution rather than ‘showy’ manoeuvres such as the reverse triple somersault with double parasol deployment and retraction which contributed towards yesterday’s incident.
😺 The Department for Human Behaviour & Statistical Analysis confirms that the dispute over Box 1 of the 143-box consignment from Wee-Tap Shoes R Us remains unresolved. Harley (Head of Department) will undertake the third and deciding count today. Pepper BSc (Hons), FICSA, Special Adviser for Advanced Statistical Analysis, is due to visit this afternoon (with her favourite tennis ball, naturally).
💌 Mrs Gladys M. Dillwyn-Llewelyn of Pen-y-Bont has advised the Department for Correspondence & Written Communications that she intends to visit Tiggy today to thank her for her recent thank you letter, which has been framed and displayed in the morning room at Pen-y-Bont. Tiggy is reported to be considerably more cheerful than she has been all week.
🏠 The Department for Domestic Affairs confirms that Socks has begun her second full day as a formally named member of Tiggy’s household and continues her familiarisation with domestic procedures, boundaries and items which do not belong to her. Tiggy remains undecided on her position within The Office. The Department for Careers & Recruitment has suggested that Socks undergo a series of aptitude and vocational assessments to establish her suitability for available Office positions.
The Office wishes all human and non-human subjects a very pleasant morning.