The Office is pleased to report that this morning’s unexpected Health & Safety briefing has now concluded, allowing normal Office operations to resume. Tiggy has now completed her morning patrol and the Office can confirm that matters, once again, remain broadly under control.
The Department for Elections & Governance reports that conditions on Platforms 5 & 6 remain unsettled. Miss Emmeline Peckhurst continues to oversee proceedings with admirable determination, though observers note she is becoming ever more ‘flappy’.
The Department for Foreign Affairs & International Relations confirms that Field Operative Phileas Moss Esq. continues his journey towards the Upton area in search of suitably qualified Avian and Insect Translation Experts, but has become slightly delayed. Mr Moss reports:
“Upon approaching Koconut Grove towards the far end of City Road, I realised that this very establishment was the source of the intoxicating aroma of crushed cardamom. Already charmed, I found myself further mesmerised by the sweet, nutty perfume of mustard seeds and freshly torn curry leaves dancing in hot coconut oil, and so drawn into spirited conversation with the chef as we shared memories of the spice-growing hills and lush tropical landscapes of his homeland, Kerala.
Of course, with typical southern Indian hospitality, the chef insisted on conjuring a steaming bowl of rich, velvety Semiya Payasam, so skilfully laced with freshly bruised green cardamom that it instantly transported me to the shimmering, humid trails of the Malabar Coast…”
The Department for Internal Reviews & Procedural Oversight has confirmed that this morning’s handling of the trip hazard incident by the Department for Health & Safety (Ant Division) has been referred for routine procedural review. A statement is expected later today.
Tiggy has now retired to the Custody Suite to ‘play’ with Station Rats A & B.
The Office wishes staff, passengers and creatures a pleasant day, and reminds all to beware of Tiggy-shaped trip hazards.