The Office can confirm that Tiggy has completed her routine morning patrols and is happy to report that all remains broadly under control.
Voting in the Employee of the Week ballot remains temporarily suspended whilst the Department for Elections & Governance conducts an investigation into reports that moths have been allowed to cast votes under the ‘Bat’ (Flying Mammal) demographic.
Mrs Emmeline Peckhurst, Interim Assistant Deputy Acting Head of Avian Affairs & Flying Mammal Affairs (Platform 5/6 Division), is assisting the Department for Elections & Governance with its enquiries into the above matter. The Office once again respectfully requests that subjects refrain from speculation regarding her position whilst investigations remain ongoing.
Demonstrations on Platform 6 continue; Buzz and Toffee, from the Department of Human Behaviour & Statistical Analysis, have once again been drafted in to assist with crowd management while Emmeline is otherwise disposed. There are reports of increasing disturbance, and Toffee has complained that the fleas attending the protest are “very bity”.
Harley, Head of the Department of Human Behaviour & Statistical Analysis, continues to analyse the available evidence and will provide further advice should additional findings emerge. Harley advises that the full statistical report remains delayed pending the recovery of Pepper BSc (Hons), FICSA’s missing tennis ball, together with the temporary redeployment of Buzz and Toffee to Platform 6.
The Department of Foreign Affairs & International Relations reports that its Field Operative remains on his mission to locate an Avian Translation Expert. Meanwhile, the Department of Auditing & Financial Compliance continues its examination of his expense claims.
The Office wishes all human subjects a very pleasant Wednesday.