Tiggy has completed her evening patrol and reports that all remains broadly under control.
🐜 Health & Safety (Ant Division) confirms that Ant No. 8,624 is recovering well following this afternoon’s audition accident. Anita Butler’s subsequent inspection has, however, identified a number of non-Standard Issue parasols in circulation. All have been confiscated. The Office is now attempting to establish their source.
🩰 Auditions for the Health & Safety (Ant Division) Synchronised Tap & Parasol Dance Troupe have concluded for the day. The audition panel advises that reverse triple somersaults with double parasol deployment and retraction are banned from audition routines until further notice.
😺 The Department for Human Behaviour & Statistical Analysis reports that Buzz has completed her verification count of Box 1 of the 143-box consignment from Wee-Tap Shoes R Us. Unfortunately, her total does not agree with Toffee’s count of 1,009 wee tap shoes. Box 1 will therefore require deciding count by Head of Department, Harley. Toffee’s request to begin Box 2 has been declined.
🐌 Field Operative Phileas Moss Esq. remains at The Chester Tap Rooms while efforts continue to locate his mission-worn Travelling Tote and the confidential Office documents contained therein. No Tote has yet been handed to Station Lost Property. Mr Moss has confirmed that he remains fully committed to resuming his journey to Upton in search of a Temporary Classification & Taxonomy Officer (Mammals, Insects, Birds & Arachnids) to help with the Staff Census as soon as circumstances permit.
🏠 The Department for Domestic Affairs confirms that Socks has completed her first full day as a formally named member of Tiggy’s household. Her position within The Office remains undecided.
🐈⬛ Tiggy intends to spend the remainder of the evening binging on a bucket of Dreamies accompanied by Alley Cats to determine once and for all whether it deserves its critical mauling or its No. 1 position on Netflix.
The Office wishes all human and non-human subjects a very pleasant evening.