The Office is pleased to report that Tiggy has completed her evening patrol and that all remains broadly under control.
The Department for Correspondence & Written Communications confirms that Tiggy’s thank you letter to Mrs Gladys M. Dillwyn-Llewelyn has, after several unsuccessful attempts, finally been completed to a satisfactory standard. The Department for Snacks & Treats has therefore permitted Tiggy to enjoy a strictly moderate allocation from the treats kindly provided by Jennifer. Discussions continue between the Department and Tiggy regarding their differing interpretations of “moderation”.
Toffee will resit Module HB&SA-14: Attack Simulations – Realism & Excessive Enthusiasm: Where Is the Line? on Monday. Members of the public wishing to observe may apply using Form HB&SA-OBS/1 from the Department for Human Behaviour & Statistical Analysis. Places are limited and allocated on a first come, first served basis.
The Department for Procurement advises that replacement precision calibration weights from Wee-Weights R Us have still not arrived. The ants continue waiting for the Staff Census to resume whilst making excellent use of their parasols from Wee Parasols R Us. Mrs Emmeline Peckhurst would like to remind all ants once again that they are civil serv-ants first, performance artists second.
Mr Phileas Moss Esq. reports steady progress on his expenses statement. He has praised The Deva Tap for providing “an atmosphere singularly conducive to careful administrative reflection,” and expects to issue the next instalment early next week.
The Department of Merchandise & Commemorative Affairs advises that preparations for the launch of Official Office merchandise continue to progress well. Whilst one or two final logistical matters remain, the Office remains cautiously optimistic that the first items will be available early next week.
The Department wishes to record its sincere thanks to Mr Jeremy Sherwood, Senior Quality Assurance Inspector, and Mrs Jennifer Sherwood, Head of Packaging & Dispatch, for their invaluable assistance.
The Office wishes all human subjects a wonderful weekend. 