The Office is pleased to report that Tiggy has now completed her evening patrol and that all remains broadly under control.
The Department for Communications makes no apology for the absence of this morning’s report. Tiggy remains perfectly at liberty to complete, or not complete, patrols as she sees fit. Today’s activities were considered suitably relaxed after yesterday’s court proceedings.
The ants continue to practise their parasol routine whilst awaiting replacement precision calibration weights from Wee-Weights R Us. Following today’s Chester Chronicle article, several ants have enquired whether rehearsals may continue after Office hours. Mrs Emmeline Peckhurst has firmly reiterated that they are present to complete official paperwork, not to prepare for Ants Have Talent.
The Department for Postal Ballot Administration confirms that the pigeon previously suspended following an unfortunate encounter with an overly enthusiastic golden retriever in Grosvenor Park today commenced retraining under Module BPRACC-2: Maintaining Professional Composure in the Presence of Canines. The practical assessment took place in the carriage shed under the supervision of Harley, Head of the Department for Human Behaviour & Statistical Analysis. The pigeon coped admirably until Toffee attempted what she described as “a realistic attack situation” by leaping out carrying a very large stick. This was considered to have taken the simulation somewhat too far. Accordingly, Toffee has been instructed by the Department for Training & Retraining to resit Module HB&SA-14: Attack Simulations – Realism & Excessive Enthusiasm: Where Is the Line?
Mr Phileas Moss Esq. continues his mission in search of a suitably qualified Temporary Classification & Taxonomy Officer (Mammals, Insects, Birds & Arachnids). Progress remains steady. However, with the Annual Staff Census still suspended, Mr Moss has paused for a brief comfort break at The Deva Tap, where he also intends to continue writing his statement to the Department for Auditing & Financial Compliance regarding his expense claims.
The Office wishes all a peaceful and restful evening.