This is a reminder that the vast majority of Health & Safety (Ant Division) remain on Platform 5 awaiting their turn to complete their Staff Census forms. Human Subjects and any other larger creatures frequenting the platform are accordingly requested to take great care where they step. You may recall there is already a crutch shortage following the incident involving Toffee, a box of pamphlets, a duck (you know the one), a millipede and a field mouse.
Additionally, Health & Safety has received reports that the aforementioned duck has once again been distributing unsolicited literature on Platform 5. Please do not encourage him by accepting his pamphlets or engaging in conversation – whilst the content of these pamphlets falls outside the remit of Health & Safety (Ant Division), creating unnecessary obstructions around 14,997 ants waiting patiently in line patently does not.
Thank you for your cooperation.
Anita Butler (Ant No. 14,351)
Senior Risk Assessment Officer
Department for Health & Safety (Ant Division)