The Office is pleased to report that Tiggy has completed her evening patrol and that all remains broadly under control.
Following this afternoon’s announcement regarding Mrs Emmeline Peckhurst’s promotion, the Department for Careers & Recruitment has commenced the process of appointing the additional carrier pigeons required to support forthcoming postal ballot operations. Early applications have been encouraging, although several candidates appear to have exaggerated their previous long-distance delivery experience.
The Department for Law & Justice continues its investigation into the counterfeit Station Street Food Vendor’s Licence (SSFVL) presented by the fox. Witnesses who may have seen the two characters in white coats claiming to be authorised Food Safety Examiners from the Department for Street Food Regulation are still sought.
The duck (you know the one) has been issued with a warning for wasting officer time after it transpired that his witness statement regarding “two mysterious figures dressed in white” in fact related to visions from his most recent near-death experience.
The Department for Merchandise & Commemorative Affairs advises that preparations continue behind the scenes. The Department thanks human subjects for their continued patience and assures them that steady progress is being made. It also reminds them of something Mr Phileas Moss Esq.’s father once told him:
“A slow approach, execution and evaluation results in the most favourable results.”
Tiggy is now considering the most appropriate location in which to settle for an evening nap. Staff are advised that this may, or may not, prove to be her own bed and may, or may not, prove totally inconvenient for those still on duty.
The Office wishes all staff, passengers and creatures a peaceful evening.