Tiggy has completed her morning patrol and is pleased to report that all remains broadly under control.
Following Anita Butler’s Preliminary Safety Assessment, Mr Phileas Moss Esq. will today begin recruiting an engineering team to construct his proposed flying harness. Mr Moss shall personally conduct interviews in The Chester Station Tap Room.
Applications should be submitted via The Department for Careers & Recruitment. Interested parties should have experience in aeronautical engineering, lightweight load-bearing structures and/or molluscan passenger transport. A minimum Level 2 National Qualification in Applied Avian Propelled Flight Mechanics (NQ-AAPFM), or equivalent, is desirable. No time wasters please!
Toffee’s attempts to count the elastic bands have been somewhat thwarted by entanglement difficulties. Pepper BSc (Hons), FICSA, Special Adviser for Advanced Statistical Analysis, who is visiting, has suggested they make a ball with the elastic bands instead of counting them. She has proposed that her favourite tennis ball can be used as a reference model. The whole department is very excited by this prospect and have collectively caught the zoomies. Tiggy has made a call for calm.
The Duck (you know the one) has offered to mediate in the continuing disagreement between Mrs Emmeline Peckhurst and the Synchronised Tap & Parasol Dance Troupe judging panel over whether ants must complete their Staff Census forms before auditioning. Mrs Peckhurst wishes it to be recorded that she did not request mediation, especially not mediation involving the Duck.
Finally, Buzzy would like to thank everyone who sent her birthday wishes. The Hoomans gave her a sausage dinner to celebrate which she says is much better than any helicopter. In honour of her birthday, the code BUZZY15 remains available for 15% off everything in The Office of Tiggy Shop (excluding Official Tiggy 2027 Calendar pre-orders) until Sunday.
The Office wishes all human subjects a wonderful Wednesday.