Tiggy has reviewed the day’s departmental records and is pleased to report that all remains broadly under control.
🦆 The Department for Internal Investigations & Prosecutions has identified the partial goose print recovered from Hindrik Solberg’s ceremonial handbell as belonging to reigning World Town Crier Champion Matthias de Gans of Utrecht, the Netherlands. Mr de Gans has been asked to attend the Office tomorrow to explain how his print came to be on Mr Solberg’s bell. The Duck’s (you know the one) condition remains unchanged.
🪑 Mrs Gladys M. Dillwyn-Llewelyn today began taking the measurements required for the life-size, exact, poseable replica of Tiggy to be used during the Department for Vehicular Licensing & Animal Conveyance (DVLAC) examination of her Feline Sedan Chair bearers. Proceedings were suspended following a ‘disagreement’ over weight and circumference measurements. Mrs D-L is understood to remain deeply upset by Tiggy’s behaviour. Tiggy has reportedly described Mrs D-L as “rather over-dramatic”.
🐜 Ant 675’s Mum reports that her leaflets calling for expressions of interest in a rival synchronised tap and parasol troupe have gathered an encouraging response. Moira Sibley says that, so far, the only expressions of interest received have come from Ant 675, her aunt, her grandmother and her second cousin three times removed. Ant 675’s Mum has said she will not dignify Moira with a response to this comment.
🎵 Work on the Wee Parasol Cathedral’s replica organs is due to resume tomorrow with the existing canine workforce remaining in place. Cecilia Fortescue FRCOrg has reluctantly accepted this arrangement on the condition that Medical Services & Medicines Management (Ant Division) give her a prescription for a stronger wee antihistamine and that Buzz, who continues to moult like a yak in a sauna, wears a protective coat at all times while in her presence. Arrangements are being made to procure a suitable coat for Buzz.
The Office wishes all human subjects and creatures a very pleasant evening.