Tiggy has reviewed this morning’s departmental records and is pleased to report that all remains broadly under control.
🦆 Mr Ernest Peckhurst returned home late yesterday evening following a week-long overseas business trip in his capacity as Managing Director of Peckhurst & Son Engineering Ltd, the long-established manufacturing firm he inherited from his father. He is understood to have been extremely flappy at having to prepare his own supper after a long flight and flappier still when he learnt that his wife was at the bedside of the Duck (you know the one) and had been there all week. The Duck’s condition remains unchanged.
🔔 Reigning World Town Crier Champion Matthias de Gans of Utrecht is expected at the Office later today to explain how his partial goose print came to be on Hindrik Solberg’s ceremonial handbell. The Department for Internal Investigations & Prosecutions has stressed that Mr de Gans is being asked to assist with enquiries and that no conclusions should be drawn at this stage.
🪑 Mrs Gladys M. Dillwyn-Llewelyn has advised that work on the life-size, exact, poseable replica of Tiggy required for the Department for Vehicular Licensing & Animal Conveyance examination cannot proceed until the remaining measurements have been obtained. Mrs D-L is understood to remain deeply upset by Tiggy’s attitude and has requested a full apology. Tiggy has countered that, given it is her circumference in question, Mrs D-L should be the one apologising.
🎵 Work on the Wee Parasol Cathedral’s replica organs has stalled as Buzz refuses to wear the newly procured protective coat intended to contain her excessive moulting while in Cecilia Fortescue FRCOrg’s presence. She says it is entirely unreasonable to be forced to wear a coat which “makes me look like an amateurly taxidermied stoat” because of a wee ant’s wee allergies. She has been reminded that her employment contract requires her to comply with all reasonable protective-clothing requirements. The matter has been referred to HR.
The Office wishes all human subjects and creatures a wonderful day.