Independent Senior Adviser for Constitutional & Strategic Matters Luther has completed this evening’s patrol and reports that all remains broadly under control.
The Employee of the Week ballot papers remain with Independent Adjudicator, Mrs Constance Pickering pending the Department for Human Behaviour & Statistical Analysis’s clearance to count. All team members, with the exception of Toffee (who ate hers), have provided the necessary documentation. Toffee thanks human subjects who asked after her digestive comfort but assures all that, having previously successfully ingested far more indigestible things, she is feeling fine and is eagerly awaiting her replacement CC2C-ob form so the counting can finally commence!
Station Rats A & B are being held in the Remand Wing of Chester Station Small Mammal Jail awaiting sentencing for their parts in the Wee Parasol/Travelling Tote affair.
Phileas Moss Esq. has been reminded that admiring the Wee Parasol Cathedral does not expedite his mission to recruit a Temporary Classification & Taxonomy Officer from an organisation in Upton believed to possess such expertise. He has once again been instructed to report to The Carriage Shed, where his Flying Harness Engineering Team await him for a harness fitting.
Mrs Emmeline Peckhurst has spoken to Senior Management at Wee Tap Shoes R Us via their Wee Phone Lines. The outcome is unknown; therefore, all 14,873 ants remain on strike and both the Staff Census and Synchronised Tap & Parasol Dance Troupe auditions remain paused.
Following her seizure on Monday, Tiggy is completely back to her usual self. On the instructions of her Personal Private Secretary, however, she remains officially on sick leave while longer-term arrangements are considered, including possible medication to help prevent further seizures. Given the sporadic nature of the episodes (two in four months), Tiggy considers such caution entirely unnecessary and has spent much of the week (night and day) communicating this view loudly, repeatedly and directly.
The Office is now closed until Monday and wishes all human subjects a peaceful and enjoyable weekend.