The Office is pleased to report that Tiggy has completed her evening patrol and that all remains broadly under control.
⚖️ Following today’s judgment, Station Rat A has been transferred to secure accommodation to commence his thirty-four day custodial sentence. Officials report he has already lodged an appeal regarding the quality of the cheese. The appeal has been rejected.
🐜 The Department for Procurement can confirm that the carefully calibrated precision miniature weights from Wee-Weights R Us arrived safely this afternoon. Unfortunately, during routine inspection, Mr Archibald Webber, Senior Inspector, Department for Standards & Compliance (Sub-Department W: Quality Assurance & Structural Integrity), determined that one of the 0.5-milligram weights was in fact 0.52 milligrams. The entire shipment has therefore been returned for replacement. The Annual Staff Census will remain temporarily suspended. Members of Health & Safety (Ant Division) continue to express their sincere thanks to Wee-Parasols R Us, whose generous donation is ensuring the queue remains both patient and pleasantly shaded.
🐌 The Department for Foreign Affairs & International Relations reports that Mr Phileas Moss Esq. continues his official recruitment mission in search of a suitably qualified Temporary Classification & Taxonomy Officer (Mammals, Insects, Birds & Arachnids). Progress remains steady, although somewhat slower than originally anticipated, with Mr Moss now approaching The Deva Tap. Mr Moss has assured the Office that this is due entirely to the complexity of the assignment and is in no way connected with the frequency of refreshment breaks or stops to admire local flora and fauna.
🐾 Tiggy is in excellent spirits following today’s court proceedings. The Department for Health & Wellbeing therefore considers the recent bout of post-Dillwyn Manor holiday blues to have officially concluded.
The Office wishes all creatures a peaceful and restful evening.