Dear Tiggy,
It is with considerable sadness that I hereby tender my resignation as Interim Assistant Deputy Acting Head of Avian Affairs & Flying Mammals (Platform 5/6 Division).
When I accepted this appointment, I understood my duties were simply to oversee the Avian and Flying Mammal vote.
Instead, over recent weeks I have found myself administering one of the most contentious constitutional ballots in Office history whilst simultaneously managing an increasingly volatile public demonstration, widespread electoral fraud, an ever-expanding electorate, repeated allegations that I have become “flappy”, and a platform which, despite numerous notices, continues to be treated as a public convenience by members of the avian community. And all this without the help I have repeatedly requested in the form of Insect and Avian Translators.
This morning, I was further advised that four Health & Safety forms had been completed incorrectly and that an additional Incident Report would be required following the unauthorised aerial deployment of a vole by means of a protest placard, which, regrettably, without an Administrative Assistant, I have not had the capacity to complete.
Whilst I believe today’s decision to extend the vote to all creatures to be both fair and wise, and I am proud to have played a small part in bringing this day about, I believe it will prove to increase my workload far beyond the abilities of one pigeon.
I therefore feel it is in the best interests of both the Office and my remaining feathers that I step aside.
I thank you for the confidence you placed in me and wish whoever is brave enough to take up this position every success.
Respectfully,
Mrs Emmeline Peckhurst
Former Interim Assistant Deputy Acting Head of Avian Affairs & Flying Mammals (Platform 5/6 Division)
The Office of Tiggy🐾