The Office can confirm that Tiggy has completed her evening patrol and that matters, once again, remain broadly under control.
📜 Today Tiggy ruled that all creatures, regardless of flight status, shall be entitled to vote. It is hoped that this decision will bring an end to protests and allow the Employee of the Week ballot (week ending 12 June) to finally reach a satisfactory conclusion.
🕊️ Sadly, Mrs Emmeline Peckhurst, Interim Assistant Deputy Acting Head of Avian Affairs & Flying Mammals (Platform 5/6 Division), has today tendered her resignation. This has not yet been accepted; however, in light of this development, voting in the Employee of the Week ballot has been temporarily suspended.
👥 Preparations for the forthcoming Staff Census continue. Due to staff illness, the Office is seeking an unflappable interim employee to manage the process. All applications should be made in writing to the Department for Careers and Recruitment.
🐌 The Department for Foreign Affairs & International Relations reports that Field Operative Phileas Moss Esq. continues his journey towards Upton. After his unfortunate detour to the ‘wrong’ end of City Road, he is making good progress; having passed the Belgrave Hotel, he is now on the perimeter of the Town Crier Garden, where he reports:
“Oh, how the lush green lawn and gentle fragrance of summer flowers dancing on the breeze remind one of Grosvenor Park. Travel may broaden the mind, but even the most adventurous of spirits can, on occasion, grow weary of the open road and wistful for the slower pace and security of home. Still, the hum of chattering humans enjoying evening refreshments fills one with a quiet cheer…a short rest stop to reinvigorate oneself seems entirely appropriate.”
🐀 Station Rats A & B have completed their sentences and been released. Station Rat A will begin his community service, assisting the Department for Cleaning & Environmental Hygiene with the removal of bird droppings from Platform 5 tomorrow morning. Station Rat B is said to have severed all association with Station Rat A and renounced his former life of crime.
The Office is now closed until Monday.