The Office is pleased to report that Tiggy has completed her morning patrol and that matters, once again, remain broadly under control.
The Department for Elections & Governance reports that there is growing dissent on Platform 6 between the faction calling for a clearer definition of what is meant by ‘flight’ and the faction maintaining that it is entirely discriminatory for voting eligibility to be based upon aerial abilities at all. A placard bearing the slogan “Let’s See You Fly, Tiggy” was confiscated this morning after two butterflies and a blue tit were injured when a badger used it to launch a vole from Platform 6 towards the ballot box on Platform 5.
The Department for Constitutional & Strategic Affairs says that Tiggy and her Independent Senior Adviser for Constitutional & Strategic Matters, Luther, will meet later today to determine, once and for all, precisely what constitutes “flight”.
The Department for Foreign Affairs & International Relations confirms that, following yesterday’s navigational mishap, Field Operative Phileas Moss Esq. has successfully executed a U-turn and is now heading back down City Road towards Chester Station. He is reported to have chortled, “Good gracious, what a palaver. Still, one shall most enjoy recounting how I traversed the parched pavements of City Road in the long, hot summer of 2026. I can already picture my Grandchildren, their eyes wide and inquisitive antennae twitching for more…oh, such dear little darlings, how I miss them!”
Miss Emmeline Peckhurst was this morning too ‘flappy’ to squawk.
The Station Rats A & B remain securely accommodated within the Custody Suite serving their respective sentences. Tiggy is expected to take Senior Advisor Luther to ‘play’ with them once their meeting has been brought to a satisfactory close.
The Office wishes all staff, passengers and creatures a pleasant day.