The Office can confirm that Tiggy has completed her morning patrol and that everything remains broadly under control.
Station Rat A and Station Rat B have now been released and are understood to have joined protests on Platform 6 calling for all animals to be given the vote in the currently suspended Employee of the Week vote. The Department for Elections & Governance continues to investigate the identity of the “constitutionally eligible group” referred to by the rats during their interviews.
Mrs Emmeline Peckhurst, Interim Head of Public Demonstrations & Constitutional Affairs, remains on Platform 6, where demonstrator numbers continue to increase. Reports indicate that a family of field mice from Crewe have joined the demonstration under assurances that owl hunting rights are suspended for the duration of the protests.
The Department for Health & Safety (Ant Division) advises that routine inspections will continue throughout the day following yesterday’s disturbing incident involving two seagulls, a squirrel, a duck and a discarded Greggs bag. A formal safety bulletin is expected later.
The Department of Human Behaviour & Statistical Analysis reports that Toffee is hard at work revising the Canine Statistical Analysis Syllabus and is due to resit Module 22a, Section 6 (“How to Ensure You Are Counting the Correct Ballot Papers”) this afternoon.
The Office wishes Toffee the very best with her studies and everyone a calm and productive Wednesday.