The Office can confirm that Tiggy has completed her evening patrol and that matters once again remain broadly under control.
The Department of Human Behaviour & Statistical Analysis has completed its reconciliation of the Flying Mammal voting figures. An earlier statistical error has now been corrected and the proportion of ballots cast by moths confirmed as 7.7%. Junior Data Acquisition Officer Toffee has voluntarily agreed to undertake further statistical training.
Tiggy, Chief Rat Catcher (FRCRS), has now completed separate interviews with Station Rat A and Station Rat B. Whilst both admitted operating the illumination observed during the Flying Mammal vote, neither accepted that this constituted interference with the democratic process. The Department for Elections & Governance continues to investigate the identity of the “constitutionally eligible group” referred to during the interviews.
The Department for Treats & Snacks has concluded its investigation into yesterday’s incident involving a discarded Greggs bag, a duck, two seagulls and a squirrel and is pleased to confirm that, rather than an altercation, the event was in fact a brave rescue. The Department for Health & Safety (Ant Division) is expected to issue updated guidance in light of the matter tomorrow.
The Office wishes all human subjects a very pleasant evening.