Tiggy has reviewed this morning’s departmental reports and is pleased to report that all remains broadly under control.
🐌 Mr Phileas Moss Esq has submitted his account of yesterday’s inaugural flight. The Department for Official Records & Public Information has recommended that the document should not be released to the public, citing concerns regarding what Mr Moss has referred to as “merely a little literary licence”. Human subjects who disagree with the decision are invited to register their views in the comments. If there is sufficient interest, the Department has agreed to reconsider its position.
🦆 The Duck (you know the one) is awaiting confirmation as to whether he has succeeded in securing a late wildcard entry into the World Town Crier Championships 2026. He already has a costume and Chris Holder has obtained photographic evidence of him practising his “Oyez!” from the Thomas Brassey statue. Tiggy was this morning seen sitting mesmerised by his performance. It remains unclear whether she was mesmerised by the Duck’s quality of tone or his quackery.
🐶 An administrative dispute arose last night when the Department for Human Behaviour & Statistical Analysis arrived to check in at the Crown Hotel, Longton, and discovered that the hotel’s policy is to charge an additional fee of £10 per night for pets. The Department objected on the grounds that they were staying in their capacity as employees, not pets. Unfortunately, an agreement on the policy could not be reached, so they were forced to sleep on the reception floor. Pets are also banned from the breakfast bar. It is hoped that their resulting hunger will not adversely affect their performance during Day Two of their course, ‘Food or Form? Advanced Document Recognition in the Modern Workplace’.
🦡 At 08:15 four uniformed badgers reported for duty as Tiggy’s newly appointed Feline Sedan Chair Bearers. They arrived carrying both references and packed lunches from Mrs Gladys M. Dillwyn-Llewelyn. Anita Butler insists that the sedan chair requires a formal risk assessment before it is used for official Office business.
The Office wishes all human subjects and creatures a wonderful day.