The Office is pleased to report that Tiggy has completed her evening patrol and that all remains broadly under control.
🛍️ The Department of Merchandise & Commemorative Affairs was extremely pleased to receive its first orders today and wishes to thank everyone for their wonderful support. 10% of profits from all official merchandise will be donated to Chester Kitty Cat Rescue. The Official Office of Tiggy Shop can be found at https://tiggythecat.co.uk/shop
🐜 Following this morning’s historic 26-Ant synchronised quadruple somersault with parasols fully extended, Health & Safety (Ant Division) is holding a celebration in The Chester Station Tap. Human patrons are requested to take particular care where they tread and place their pints. Synchronised dancing on the tables with wee parasols is fully expected before the evening is out.
🐕 Toffee’s resit of Module HB&SA-14: Attack Simulations – Realism & Excessive Enthusiasm: Where Is the Line? was temporarily suspended following an incident involving the duck (you know the one). The duck reportedly entered The Carriage Shed and began evangelising to examination spectators, one of whom left the designated observation area just as Toffee commenced Exercise 7: Unexpected Movement at Close Range. Full details of the incident are yet to be released.
⚖️ Mr Archibald Webber has completed preliminary testing of the replacement precision calibration weights supplied by Wee-Weights R Us. The Staff Census remains suspended pending further testing tomorrow, which is likely no bad thing considering the ants’ evening plans.
🗳️ The two qualified carrier pigeons have continued distribution of Employee of the Week ballot papers to the woodlouse population of Grosvenor Park. Progress has been steady, although identifying individual addresses beneath fallen logs is presenting certain logistical difficulties.
Tiggy has now retired following what she described as a most satisfactory day. She wishes to thank everyone for their extraordinarily kind messages and support.