The following is a transcript of Station Rats A & B’s defences in the case brought by the Department for Law & Justice concerning the provision of a fraudulent Station Street Food Vendor’s Licence (SSFVL) and associated documentation, resulting in an outbreak of food poisoning.
STATION RAT A
“Your Honour, I respectfully submit that my actions have been misunderstood.
It is well known that the Department for Street Food Regulation is experiencing an unprecedented backlog of applications. At the same time, a local fox stood before us with the dream of running a food business, a hungry litter of cubs to feed and no realistic prospect of obtaining a licence for weeks, even months.
One is left to ask oneself a simple question. Does one allow bureaucracy to prevail whilst innocent cubs go hungry…or does one step forward and assist?
I therefore considered it my civic duty to help both parties. The Department received one fewer application to process, and the fox was able to begin earning a living.
I readily accept that certain administrative procedures may not have been followed to the letter. However, compassion occasionally requires a degree of flexibility.”
STATION RAT B
“Your Honour, since the Bat Moth incident I have been keeping my nose clean and staying well away from Station Rat A. However, when he explained that the Department for Street Food Regulation needed help, I had no reason to disbelieve him, especially when he handed me a white coat.
As us rats have historically been belittled and used by those wearing white coats, it felt like a very proud moment. That’s why I wrote my name inside mine.
I thought it strange when Station Rat A told me to get rid of the coats after we had given the fox his SSFVL. I couldn’t bring myself to do it, so I left them in the station toilets intending to collect mine later. I was very upset to find them gone, as I’d planned to take it home and show my mum and dad how I’d turned my life around.
I never meant to do anything dishonest. I genuinely believed we were helping the Department…and the fox.”
The Court has now retired to consider the evidence and determine sentences.