The Office can confirm that Tiggy has concluded her morning patrol and that matters remain broadly under control.
The Department for Media & Correspondence reminds Human Subjects that unauthorised photography remains unauthorised. Treats must be presented BEFORE filming commences. Failure to comply may result in one of Tiggy’s ‘Death Stares’.
The Department for Community Rat Rehabilitation advises that Rat A will shortly resume his court-ordered cleaning duties on Platform 5. Avian voters are once again requested to refrain from depositing additional work for the rat, and are warned that extra wardens from the Department of Fines & Penalties will be on patrol throughout today, issuing on-the-spot FPPNs where necessary.
The duck involved in the incident involving two seagulls, a squirrel, a duck and a discarded Greggs bag, and who was also a witness to, and affected by, the incident involving a badger, a vole, two butterflies, a blue tit and a protest placard, now has a loud-hailer, a soapbox and is understood to be preparing printed literature. He continues sharing his views on mortality, destiny and personal enlightenment with ever-increasing enthusiasm. Commuters are advised to avoid making eye contact.
The Department for Elections & Governance advises that voting on Platform 5 remains suspended following Miss Emmeline Peckhurst’s resignation. The Office can further confirm that her resignation has still not been accepted by Tiggy. Discussions continue.
Tiggy wishes all passengers, staff, birds, mammals, insects and spiders a pleasant Tuesday.