To: Mrs Emmeline Peckhurst, Interim Assistant Deputy Acting Head of Avian Affairs & Flying Mammals (Platform 5/6 Division)
From: Anita Butler, Senior Risk Assessment Officer (Ant Division)
Following review of the documentation submitted in relation to yesterday’s incident involving a badger, a vole, two butterflies, a blue tit and a protest placard, I regret to advise that the paperwork cannot presently be accepted.
The Department has identified the following deficiencies:
• Injury Form HSADII-01 has not been completed for the vole.
• The two butterflies have been recorded collectively rather than individually.
• It is not indicated whether the blue tit was flying, falling or otherwise airborne at the time of the incident.
• An image of the protest placard has not been included. This is required.
In addition, no Incident Report (Form HSADIR-04) has been submitted detailing the full circumstances leading up to the vole’s unauthorised ‘flight’ between Platforms 5 & 6.
As you will no doubt be aware, today is Flying Ant Day 2026. Consequently, the Department is operating with significantly reduced staffing levels and will be closing early. Your cooperation in avoiding unnecessary administrative work would therefore be greatly appreciated. Accordingly, please complete and return all outstanding and corrected documentation no later than 3pm GMT today, thereby allowing me to enjoy at least the tail end of today’s festivities.
Kind regards,
Anita Butler (Ant No. 14,351)
Senior Risk Assessment Officer
Department for Health & Safety (Ant Division)
The Office of Tiggy 🐾