The Office is pleased to report that Tiggy has completed her morning patrol and that matters, once again, remain broadly under control.
The Department for Seasonal Events is delighted to announce that today is FLYING ANT DAY 2026. The Office extends its warmest congratulations to all flying ants and wishes them a safe and enjoyable day. Special good wishes are extended to all colleagues in Health & Safety (Ant Division).
The Department for Constitutional & Strategic Affairs confirms that, in consultation with her Independent Senior Adviser, Luther, Tiggy has now reached a decision regarding the definition of flight for the purposes of voting eligibility. A statement is expected later today.
The Department for Elections & Governance reports that conditions on Platform 6 remain tense as protestors await Tiggy’s decision regarding voting eligibility. Meanwhile, voting continues on Platform 5. Flying ants are advised that they are eligible to vote should they wish to, but are also warned that queues are already lengthy and that Mrs Peckhurst remains very ‘flappy’.
The Department for Health & Safety (Ant Division) will be running with a skeleton staff today and requests that any necessary accident, injury and incident forms are completed correctly and submitted promptly to avoid unnecessary additional paperwork.
The Department for Personnel Records & Resource Management reminds all employees, consultants and freelancers that preparations continue for the forthcoming Staff Census. Staff are advised that failure to declare unofficial departmental appointments may result in the removal of unofficial departmental appointments.
Station Rats A & B remain securely accommodated within the Custody Suite, awaiting their release at the end of their sentence later today.
Tiggy has now retired to her office for snacks and naps. Passengers, staff and creatures are respectfully requested to keep noise to a minimum.