The Office can confirm that Tiggy has completed her evening patrol and that matters once again remain broadly under control.
The Department for Elections & Governance confirms receipt of Mrs Emmeline Peckhurst’s statement regarding her acceptance of votes from moths in the currently suspended Employee of the Week vote. The statement has been entered into the official record and will be considered alongside all other evidence.
The Department of Human Behaviour & Statistical Analysis confirms that Toffee has now completed her resit of Module 22a, Section 6 (“How to Ensure You Are Counting the Correct Ballot Papers”). Her paper has been sent to the Department for Training & Retraining for marking.
The Department for Health & Safety (Ant Division) reports a noticeable improvement in litter awareness following today’s safety bulletin and thanks the overwhelming majority of human subjects who continue to make responsible use of the waste and recycling bins provided throughout Chester Station.
The duck involved in the incident involving two seagulls, a squirrel, a duck and a discarded Greggs bag has reportedly been roaming the streets of Chester saying he was “saved for a reason” and now has “an important message to share”. Members of the public are reminded they are under no obligation to listen to the testimony of an evangelising duck.
The Office wishes all a peaceful evening.