The Office can confirm that Tiggy has completed her morning patrol and that all remains broadly under control.
The Department for Elections & Governance confirms that its investigation into weekend Flying Mammal voting for Employee of the Week (Week Ending 12/06) remains ongoing. Preliminary findings indicate that as many as 37.5% of votes may have been cast by moths rather than flying mammals. Voting remains suspended.
Mrs Emmeline Peckhurst, Interim Assistant Deputy Acting Head of Avian Affairs & Flying Mammal Affairs (Platform 5/6 Division), continues to assist the investigation whilst overseeing demonstrations calling for voting rights to be extended to all creatures on Platform 6. The Office confirms that two seagulls, a squirrel and a duck have been apprehended and are being questioned by the Department for Treats & Snacks regarding an altercation involving a discarded Greggs bag.
Calm has been restored within the Department of Human Behaviour & Statistical Analysis following last week’s exuberance over the recovery of Pepper BSc (Hons), FICSA’s tennis ball. Toffee scraped a pass in her resit of Module 2 (Tick or Fly) of the mandatory PA (Parasite Awareness) course. Human subjects are reminded that the department is prone to over-excitement and silliness; please don’t mention balls, sticks or walkies in the vicinity of the departmental office.
The Department of Auditing & Financial Compliance confirms receipt of the first page of Field Operative Philieas Moss Esq.’s explanation concerning recent expenditure. Philieas has now returned from his “comfort break” and is understood to be preparing to continue his report.
The Department for Lighting & Electrical Affairs is investigating the mysterious light reported in The Chester Chronicle and would particularly like to hear from anyone who spoke to the unidentified rodents describing themselves as “Lighting Engineers”.
The Office wishes all human subjects a productive Monday.