Tiggy has reviewed the departmental records and is pleased to report that all remains broadly under control.
🗳️ It’s been a long 17 weeks, which have included: Mrs Peckhurst attaching herself to the railings in protest against the Avian Representation Act 1996; the repeal of said Act resulting in full avian suffrage; further protests and demonstrations; voting reform; even more protests and reforms eventually resulting in voting rights for all animals and insects; the introduction of postal voting; counting and recounting; missing ballot boxes; disciplinary proceedings, and, most recently, the appointment of a tortoise, hare and hummingbird counting team – but FINALLY, Mrs Constance Pickering, official adjudicator from the Cheshire & Warrington Employee Recognition Ballot Standards Authority, has this morning confirmed that the preliminary result of the Employee of the Week ballot (week ending 12 June) is now known.
Under Statutory Electoral Regulation 3DTY6b(ii), one last independent verification of the result is required, for which a representative of the North West Electoral Standards & Verification Board has been summoned. The result may be imminent!
🦆 Doctors at The Earl of Chester Hospital report further encouraging signs of responsiveness from the Duck (you know the one), particularly when Emmeline speaks to him. His condition remains critical.
🔔 The legal representative of Matthias de Gans, reigning World Town Crier Champion, whose wing print was found on the bell from which the clapper struck the Duck, has now cleared border control at Manchester Airport and is on his way to Chester. He has decided to fly the remainder of the journey himself, his confidence in human transport systems having been severely shaken by his treatment at border control.
🐌 Following the loss of the right Half-Pint Plinth during his inaugural flight, Anita Butler has proposed the plinths are removed from the Flying Harness. Phileas proposes they are strengthened. Phileas has suggested they discuss their differing opinions over a pint at the Chester Station Tap. Anita has declined.
The Office wishes all a wonderful day.