By Montgomery Burrows, Senior Associate Deputy Investigative Correspondent for Underground, Small Mammal & General Station Affairs
The long-awaited inspection of the Wee Parasol Cathedral by the Chester Society of Miniature Architecture took place earlier today and has taken an unexpected turn which may put the structure itself in jeopardy.
Originally conceived as a small side project to keep Health & Safety (Ant Division) occupied during the dispute which halted both the Staff Census and auditions for the Synchronised Tap & Parasol Company, the Wee Cathedral has grown from modest undertaking to major construction project.
Built entirely from Wee Parasols supplied by Wee Parasols R Us, the Cathedral is now nearing completion, with only finishing work and decorative detailing remaining. Installation of fully functioning replicas of Chester Cathedral’s Grand Organ and Chamber Organ is also underway.
The Society’s Senior Inspector, Dr Millicent Meles, was initially highly impressed by the workmanship and scale of the structure, describing it as “of exceptional architectural and cultural merit and a standing testament to what can be achieved through collective endeavour.”
Difficulties arose, however, when Dr Meles asked to see the planning documentation.
Simon Turner (Ant No. 380), Senior Structural Adviser, maintains that because the Cathedral is built entirely from Wee Parasols which can, theoretically, be folded up and removed, it is a temporary structure and therefore does not require planning permission.
Dr Meles, however, disagrees.
“The structure has now stood for many weeks, contains a functioning penitentiary housing two rats, is shortly to contain two organs and, additionally, is the subject of an application for listed status. In my view, these factors are highly indicative of a building intended to be rather more than a temporary arrangement of parasols.”
Mr Turner has responded that none of these facts undermine the fundamental foldability of a parasol.
Construction continues for now, although Dr Meles has advised against any further work until the planning position is resolved.
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