Tiggy has reviewed the day’s departmental records and is pleased to report that all remains broadly under control.
🦆 Mr Ernest Peckhurst has instructed his wife to end her bedside vigil and return home. Mrs Emmeline Peckhurst has informed him that she intends to do no such thing and that he can fend for himself for once. The condition of the Duck (you know the one) remains unchanged.
🔔 Reigning World Town Crier Champion Matthias de Gans of Utrecht attended the Office today to explain how his partial goose print came to be on Hindrik Solberg’s handbell. Mr de Gans has admitted to handling the bell shortly before Saturday’s World Town Crier Tournament finale but has refused to answer further questions without legal representation. His lawyer is understood to be flying in from Amsterdam.
🪑 Following considerable representations from human subjects, Tiggy agreed to allow Mrs Gladys M. Dillwyn-Llewelyn to complete the outstanding measurements required for the life-size, exact, poseable replica to be used during the badgers’ Feline Sedan Chair conveyance examination. The measurements were taken privately and are to remain strictly confidential. Mrs D-L is taking Tiggy to Moules a Go-Go for dinner by way of apology for attempting to take the measurements publicly.
🐜 Following growing pressure for action regarding Ant 675’s failed audition, Tiggy has asked Julian Mercer and Edmund Rattle to provide their views on whether a second audition should be permitted. Moira Sibley is said to be fuming at Tiggy’s intervention, while Ant 675’s Mum has described it as “long overdue”.
🗳️ Upon double-checking with the Department for Human Behaviour & Statistical Analysis that all boxes of Employee of the Week ballot papers had been passed to Mrs Constance Pickering, it has been discovered that Buzz and Toffee ‘helpfully’ took 25 boxes of ballot papers home for safekeeping. They have been ordered to return them immediately. Mrs Pickering is said to be shocked that documents of such importance were allowed to leave the Office.
The Office is now closed until Monday and wishes all human subjects and creatures a very pleasant evening and a peaceful weekend.