MORNING REPORT: Tiggy has completed her morning patrol and is pleased to report that all remains broadly under control.
Following concerns raised by human subjects regarding the stability and weight distribution of his proposed flying harness, Mr Phileas Moss Esq. has submitted a revised design for consideration by Anita Butler (Ant No. 14,351).
The new design incorporates two half-pint Inflight Pint Plinths, positioned on either side of Mr Moss, in place of the previously proposed single pint arrangement. Mr Moss believes this satisfactorily addresses the issue.
The Department for Human Behaviour & Statistical Analysis have returned from the racecourse and are continuing work on the construction of their elastic-band ball. Progress was delayed slightly when an elastic band pinged across the room causing Buzz to catch the zoomies again… luckily, being as she is now 15, they quite quickly abated and work has now recommenced in earnest.
Mediation between Mrs Emmeline Peckhurst and the Synchronised Tap & Parasol Dance Troupe judging panel regarding whether ants should be compelled to complete their Staff Census forms ahead of auditioning is continuing under the supervision of the Duck (you know the one). In the meantime, both the auditions and the Staff Census are on hold. The ants are somewhat ‘antsy’ about the whole saga, but are using the downtime constructively by working collectively on a scale model of Chester Cathedral constructed entirely from Standard Issue Wee Parasols.
Tiggy is currently polishing the silver sardine tray presented to her by Mrs Gladys M. Dillwyn-Llewelyn for her seventh birthday. She has asked not to be disturbed unless the matter is urgent or involves sardines.
The Office wishes all human subjects a wonderful Thursday.