Tiggy has completed her morning patrol and is pleased to report that all remains broadly under control.
🐜 The Staff Census continues on Platform 5. Mrs Emmeline Peckhurst notes steady progress, although numerical order is complicated by members of Health & Safety (Ant Division) leaving the queue to practise dance routines. Ants are reminded that their place in the queue is determined by their official Office Ant No., not their position in the dance troupe.
🩰 Auditions for the Health & Safety (Ant Division) Synchronised Tap & Parasol Dance Troupe resume this morning. Station Lost Property has reunited a number of wee parasols with their owners, although several hundred ants remain without parasols so are unable to audition.
😺 The Department for Human Behaviour & Statistical Analysis confirms that Buzz has begun verifying Toffee’s count of Box 1 of the 143-box consignment from Wee-Tap Shoes R Us. Toffee counted 1,009 wee tap shoes: enough to fully shoe 168 ants, with one shoe remaining. Her request to begin Box 2 is being considered by Harley (Head of Department).
🐌 Field Operative Phileas Moss Esq. remains at The Chester Tap Rooms following the loss of his mission-worn Travelling Tote, reportedly containing confidential Office documents. Members of the public are asked to hand the Tote or any documents to Station Lost Property. Mr Moss has been advised that his circumstances do not permit expenses beyond his agreed daily allowance.
🐈⬛ Tiggy was observed shortly after 5am inspecting the station barriers. The Office understands this was legitimate overtime and in no way related to the new arrival at home.
🏠 The Department for Domestic Affairs confirms that, following extensive negotiations and a prolonged stalemate, the newest member of Tiggy’s household has been formally named by the Children of the Household. Tiggy has been afforded the honour of determining her position within The Office but has yet to reach a decision. Further details will follow.
The Office wishes all human and non-human subjects a very pleasant morning.