Independent Senior Adviser for Constitutional & Strategic Matters Luther has completed today’s Morning Patrol and confirms that all remains broadly under control.
Mrs Constance Pickering, Independent Adjudicator from the Cheshire & Warrington Employee Recognition Ballot Standards Authority, has arrived at Chester Station and taken possession of the sealed Employee of the Week ballot papers. She is verifying the Clearance to Count credentials of the Department for Human Behaviour & Statistical Analysis. Unfortunately, Toffee has eaten her Form CC2C-ob (Certificate of Clearance to Count in Official Ballots). A delay to counting is therefore anticipated.
The Department for Internal Investigations & Procedures (DIIP) continues questioning Station Rats A & B regarding the acquisition and attempted sale of 628 Standard Issue Wee Parasols, and how they came to be concealed inside Phileas Moss Esq.’s Travelling Tote.
Phileas Moss Esq. remains inside the Wee Parasol Cathedral marvelling at the ants’ architectural prowess. Luther has reminded him that his mission to Upton to recruit a Temporary Classification & Taxonomy Officer to assist with species identification for the Staff Census remains outstanding. He has accordingly been instructed to make his way to The Carriage Shed, where his Flying Harness Engineering Team await him for a harness fitting.
All 14,873 ants of Health & Safety (Ant Division) remain on strike pending clarification of how many ants the consignment of 63,847 Wee Tap Shoes will shoe, and therefore how many places are available in the Synchronised Tap & Parasol Dance Troupe. Mrs Emmeline Peckhurst has finally got through to Wee Tap Shoes R Us on their Wee Phone Lines and is awaiting a call back from Wee Senior Management. Both the Staff Census and auditions remain paused.
Dr Barnaby Wycliffe has recovered from the recent ‘sugar mountain’ incident and resumed his enquiries into Lady Tigridia, the hereditary annual stipend of twelve herrings, and the mysterious 1556 murder in which she was implicated.
Tiggy remains at home attacking her cat flap and arguing with the Hoomans over her fitness to return to work.