Tiggy has completed her morning patrol and is pleased to report that all remains broadly under control.
Considerable progress has been made on the ants’ scale model of Chester Cathedral, constructed entirely from Standard Issue Wee Parasols. The central tower is now beginning to take shape, although work has been temporarily suspended, with the ants taking shelter in the north transept following reports of migratory anteaters heading in the general direction of Chester. It is not yet known if these reports are true.
Anita Butler (Ant No. 14,351) has completed her initial assessment of Mr Phileas Moss Esq.’s revised flying harness design. The introduction of two Inflight Half-Pint Plinths has satisfactorily addressed her concerns regarding weight distribution. The matter of exactly what liquid the two Inflight Half-Pint Plinths will be permitted to contain remains uncertain.
The Department for Human Behaviour & Statistical Analysis have asked the ants if, given their clear construction prowess, they would mind assisting in the making of their elastic-band ball. Simon Turner (Ant No. 380), Senior Structural Adviser, says the ants would only be able to provide support in an advisory capacity, otherwise the dogs would never learn anything. Additionally, they would be unable to assist until the cathedral has been completed. The Department have therefore gone to The Water Tower Gardens for a sniff about.
The Department of Internal Investigations & Prosecutions continues its investigation into how hundreds of Standard Issue Wee Parasols found their way into Mr Phileas Moss Esq.’s Travelling Tote. Rat B continues to assist with their enquiries. Station Rat A is due to be released on 8 September, following the completion of his 34-day sentence for his part in last month’s street food poisoning scandal.
Tiggy has now successfully tested her new silver sardine tray twice. She is pleased to confirm that it is fully compatible with both sardines and regular cat food. She has asked that further testing with tuna be undertaken at lunchtime.
The Office wishes all human subjects a wonderful Friday.