The Office is pleased to confirm that Tiggy has completed her morning patrol and that all remains broadly under control.
Mrs Emmeline Peckhurst is pleased to report that steady progress continues in the Staff Census with a further six members of Health & Safety (Ant Division) having now completed their paperwork, bringing the grand total processed to 18. A fully licensed street-food trader will be attending the line today to provide refreshments for the remaining 14,982 ants who continue to queue with admirable discipline. All creatures are reminded not to purchase food or drink from unlicensed traders.
The Department for Training & Retraining has confirmed that, having passed her theory assessment, Toffee will be resitting her practical exam for Module 34-4a: Avian Missile Avoidance. This will take place in The Carriage Shed between 14.12 & 14.42 today. Human subjects are advised to avoid the area for their own safety. The Office wishes Toffee all the best!
The three carrier pigeons who successfully passed training will commence delivery of postal ballots for the Employee of the Week vote to creatures residing within the CH1 postcode just as soon as they have finished assisting examiners with Toffee’s practical assessment (see above). The Department for Careers & Recruitment still seeks a further 13 suitably qualified pigeons to assist with ballot paper delivery. Interested parties are reminded that previous delivery experience is essential, and that successful applicants will be required to complete a rigorous (unpaid) training programme.
The Department for Merchandise & Commemorative Affairs reports that Mr Jeremy Sherwood and Mrs Jennifer Sherwood have now completed their induction. Following a question from a human subject regarding the appropriate form of address, the couple have confirmed that they would prefer to be addressed as Mr & Mrs Sherwood, reserving the more familiar Jeremy and Jennifer for family members and close friends. The Office thanks human subjects for their cooperation.
Tiggy has now retired to her office to admire her needlepoint portrait and wishes all a good day.