By Montgomery Burrows, Senior Associate Deputy Investigative Correspondent for Underground & Small Mammal Affairs
It has now been one week since Tiggy’s landmark constitutional ruling extended voting rights to every creature, regardless of species or method of locomotion.
Yet, despite the historic nature of the decision, not a single vote has since been cast.
Following the resignation of Mrs Emmeline Peckhurst, voting on Platform 5 was suspended indefinitely whilst negotiations regarding her future continue. Although the Office insists discussions remain “ongoing”, no indication has been given as to when polling might resume.
The result is a curious constitutional paradox. Every creature now possesses the right to vote, yet no creature is presently able to exercise it.
With each passing day, queues around the ballot box continue to grow, as does frustration amongst those who believed they had finally secured their long-awaited democratic voice.
Amongst those waiting was Jonathan, a caterpillar who had travelled all the way from Tattenhall.
“It’s a long and treacherous crawl from Tattenhall,” he explained. “But I believe, given how hard it was fought for, it is my civic duty to exercise my vote. At this rate, I’ll be flying home.”
Nearby, Paula, a hedgehog from Kelsall, was equally unimpressed.
“I am becoming increasingly prickly about the whole situation. Does Tiggy not think we have better things to do than hang around the station all day, every day? I have a business to run.”
The Office has again declined to provide a timetable for the reopening of voting, stating only that “further announcements will be made in due course.”
For now, tempers continue to shorten as the queues grow, along with speculation about precisely what is taking place behind Tiggy’s office door.